Auckland, July 18 NZPA - Quips and quotes from the National Party conference.

"I'm going to get rid of the Treasury and replace it with Paul the octopus." Prime Minister John Key says he has some good news for Finance Minister Bill English.

"He's starting to like being called 'dear leader'." Bill English comments on Key's recent trip to China, Korea and Vietnam.

"When he was away he messaged me and asked how it was going. I said fantastic. I later realised that wasn't the best response." English was acting prime minister while Key was in Asia.

"I'm the ninth minister to address you. It's a bit like being one of Elizabeth Taylor's husbands - you know what's expected of you, the problem is making it interesting." Health Minister Tony Ryall takes the stage to explain his portfolio.

"You're the greatest of them all." A delegate gives his verdict on Ryall after the explanation.

"Sure as little green apples they'd be telling us about it if it was that bad." Key says unions have failed to prove the 90-day probation period is used to exploit workers.

"Be polite to them on your way out." A conference organiser gives delegates advice about rowdy demonstrators outside.

"We keep hearing about this aspirational stuff. When are you going to do something." A delegate isn't happy about reform of the Resource Management Act.